Chapter Five: Letting Go of Judgments

To see the process of judgment in action, observe almost any tennis match or lesson. Watch closely the face of the hitter and you will see expressions of judgmental thoughts occurring in his mind. Frowns occur after each "bad" shot, and expressions of self-satisfaction after every shot judged as particularly "good'. Often the judgments will be expressed verbally in a vocabulary which ranges widely, depending on the player and the degree of his like or dislike of his shot. Sometimes the judgment is most clearly perceived in the tone of voice used rather than the words themselves. The declaration, "You rolled your racket over again," can be said as a biting self-criticism or a simple observation of fact, depending on the tone of voice. The imperatives, "Watch the ball," or "Move your feet," can be uttered as an encouragement to the body or as a belittling condemnation of its past performance.

To understand more clearly what is meant by judgment, imagine a singles match being played by Mr. A and Mr. B, with Mr. C acting as the umpire. Mr. A is serving his second serve to Mr. B on the first point of a tie-breaker. The ball lands wide, and Mr. C calls, "Out. Double fault'. Seeing his serve land out and hearing, "Double fault'. Mr. A frowns, says something demeaning about himself, and calls the serve "terrible'. Seeing the same stroke, Mr. B. judges it as "good" and smiles. The umpire neither frowns nor smiles: he simply calls the ball as he sees it.

What is important to see here is that neither the "goodness" nor "badness" ascribed to the event by the players is an attribute of the shot itself. Rather, they are evaluations added to the event in the minds of the players according to their individual reactions. Mr. A is saying, in effect, "I don't like that event"; Mr. B is saying, "I like that event'. The umpire, here ironically called the judge, doesn't judge the event as positive or negative; he simply sees the ball land and calls it out. If the event occurs several more times, Mr. A will get very upset, Mr. B will continue to be pleased, and the umpire, sitting above the scene, will still be noting with detached interest all that is happening.

What I mean by judgment is the act of assigning a negative or positive value to an event. In effect it is saying that some events within your experience are good and you like them, and other events in your experience are bad and you don't like them. You don't like the sight of yourself hitting a ball into the net, but you judge as good the sight of your opponent being aced by your serve. Thus, judgments are our personal, ego reactions to the sights, sounds, feelings and thoughts within our experience.

What does this have to do with tennis? Well, it is the initial act of judgment which provokes a thinking process. First the player's mind judges one of his shots as bad or good. If he judges it as bad, he begins thinking about what was wrong with it. Then he tells himself how to correct

it. Then he tries hard, giving himself instructions as he does so. Finally he evaluates again. Obviously the mind is anything but still and the body is tight with trying. If the shot is evaluated as good, Self 1 starts wondering how he hit such a good shot; then tries to get his body to repeat the process by giving self-instructions, trying hard, and so on. Both mental processes end in further evaluation, which perpetuates the process of thinking and self-conscious performance. As a consequence, the player's muscles tighten when they need to be loose, strokes become awkward and less fluid, and negative evaluations are likely to continue with growing intensity.

After Self 1 has evaluated several shots, he is likely to start generalizing. Instead of judging a single event as "another bad backhand," he starts thinking, "You have a terrible backhand'. Instead of saying, "You were nervous on that point," he generalizes, "You're the worst choke artist in the club'. Other common judgmental generalizations are, "I'm having a bad day," "I always miss the easy ones,'' "I'm slow," etc.

It is interesting to see how the judgmental mind extends itself.

It may begin by complaining, "What a lousy serve," then extend to "I'm serving badly today'. After a few more "bad" serves, the judgment may become further extended to "I have a terrible serve'. Then, "I'm a lousy tennis player," and finally, 'Tm no good'. First the mind judges the

event, then group events, then identifies with the combined event, and finally judges itself.

As a result, what usually happens is that these self-judgments become self-fulfilling prophecies. That is, they are communications from Self 1 about Self 2 which, after being repeated often enough, are believed by Self 2. Then Self 2, acting like the computer he is, begins to live up to these expectations. If you tell yourself often enough that you are a poor server, a kind of hypnotic process takes place. It's as if Self 2 is being given a role to play - the role of bad server-and he plays it to the hilt, suppressing for the time being his true capabilities. Once the judgmental mind establishes a self-identity based on its negative judgments, the roleplaying continues to hide the true potential of Self 2 until the hypnotic spell is broken. Most players would do well to heed the wisdom of ancient yoga philosophy: "You become what you think'.

After a number of bad backhands are hit, and the player tells himself that he has a bad backhand, or at least that his backhand is "off," he often goes to a pro to get it repaired. It is my experience that players come to tennis pros in the same frame of mind that patients go to doctors: as if they are sick and want to be cured. This kind of judgment is so pervasive incur culture that it is taken for granted. It would seem strange to take a tennis lesson when you didn't see anything wrong with your game. Any pro knows, however, that it is easier to help a player who is on his game

improve than it is to help one who considers he is playing poorly. (In China, people make regular visits to doctors when they are healthy. The doctor's job is more to keep people healthy than it is to cure them of sickness. If a Chinese follows his doctor's instructions and then gets sick, he is likely to change doctors.) Why not go to a tennis pro accepting your game as it is?

When asked to give up making judgments about one's game, the judgmental mind usually protests, "But if I can't hit a backhand inside the court to save my life, do you expect me to ignore my faults and pretend my game is fine?" Be clear about this: letting go of judgments does not mean ignoring errors. It simply means seeing events as they are and not adding anything to them. Nonjudgmental awareness might observe that during a certain match you hit 50 percent of your first serves into the net. It doesn't ignore the fact. It may accurately describe your serve on that day as erratic and seek to discover the causes. Judgment begins when the serve is labeled "bad" and causes interference with one's playing when a reaction of anger, frustration or discouragement follows. If the judgment process could be stopped with the naming of the event as bad, and there were no further ego reactions, then the interference would be minimal. But judgmental labels usually lead to emotional reactions and then to tightness, trying too hard, self-condemnation, etc. This process can be

slowed by using descriptive but nonjudgmental words to describe the events you see.

If a judgmental player comes to me, I will do my best not to believe his tale of a bad backhand or of the bad player who has it. If he hits the balls out, I will notice they go out, and I may notice the reason why they are going out. But is there a need to judge him or the backhand as sick? If I do, I am likely to get as uptight in the process of correcting him as he is likely to be in correcting himself. Judgment results in tightness, and tightness interferes with the fluidity required for accurate and quick movement. Relaxation produces smooth strokes and results from accepting your strokes as they are, even if erratic.

Read this simple analogy and see if an alternative to the judging process doesn't begin to emerge. When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as "rootless and stemless'. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed. When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped; nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies. Within it, at all times, it contains its whole potential. It seems to be

constantly in the process of change; yet at each state, at each moment, it is perfectly all right as it is.

Similarly, theerrors we make can be seen as an important part of the developing process. In its process of developing, our tennis game learns a great deal from errors. Even slumps are part of the process. They are not bad events, but they seem to endure endlessly as long as we call them bad and identify with them. Like a good gardener who knows when the soil needs alkaline and when acid, the competent tennis pro should be able to help the development of your game. Usually the first thing that needs to be done is to deal with the negative concepts inhibiting the innate developmental process. Both the pro and the player stimulate this process as they begin to see and to accept the strokes as they are at that moment. The first step is to see your strokes as they are. They must be perceived clearly. This can be done only when personal judgment is absent. As soon as a stroke is seen clearly and accepted as it is, a natural and speedy process of change begins.

The example below, a true story, illustrates the key to unblocking the natural development in our strokes.